Life is a bitch

When I was finally fully cured of the operation life dealt me another blow, actually an uppercut where I had no defense against. Being on the canvas my head spinned and thoughts as "this cannot be true, I must be having a nightmare" we're going round and round in my head.

When you hear that somebody has a life threatening illness you shake your head and think "Why him/her?". If you hear that your father has uncurable cancer because it has spread to the liver your world goes down the hill as a ride on a broken rollercoaster.

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The "Why him?" question stays for days in your head but the answer never comes. First you cry, then you get angry, then acceptance settles in. You learn to live with this ticking time bomb that it can be any moment now that a loved one can leave this planet we call earth. It can take months, it can be years, not knowing makes you mad if you dwell to long over it.

Its two months ago now that I have heard the terrible news. I finally have given it a place, some acceptance, in my life. I am ready to live again without thinking "what if ?". Time to take up again the old habits like for example blogging.

Not sure what I am gonna blog about since I feel like a rookie blogger again. Not knowing what to blog about, at least my brain cannot come up with something that passes my selection criteria of perfectionism. Heck, I do not know if my English is still good enough to make others understand what I want to say.

But I got the nightmare of my life already. So I will not be afraid to get sabeled down over some blogposts. I will write and publish chess soon.

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Posted in Transportation/Automotive Post Date 04/12/2021


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